Spring Wardrobe Update

Yesterday I ventured out to refurbish my spring wardrobe. I realized it is not fair to those around me for me to wear cotton leggings and oversized men's tall dress shirts with a tank or cami underneath them 24/7. Comfortable? Yes. Hideous? Very.  

Living on an extremely tight budget and having always loved a bargain, I decided to go to a local thrift store. Thank goodness American women are getting fatter, because Lord knows I've gotten fatter over the years. It's post-baby weight. My baby turned 18 in April, but I cannot go naked while I work on losing the weight. (It's not seersucker. It's stretch marks!)

My timing was perfect. I arrived in the middle of a sunny springtime Sunday afternoon. The place was overrun with people of all ages and ethnicities. A a sweet-looking old lady with lavender hair stumbled through, mumbling to herself as her caregiver gently took the blaze orange double-knit pantsuit from her and returned it to the rack. The look she bestowed upon her caregiver was not sweet. 

There must have been at least half a dozen large families with small children, most of whom were apparently deaf. (I state this based upon the volume at which the parents and children were bellowing at each other across the store.) After fifteen minutes, I wished I were at least hard of hearing. 

One little boy screamed at the top of his six-or-seven-year-old lungs because his mother wouldn't buy him everything he wanted. He wouldn't stay in his stroller and he wouldn't walk. Surreptitiously I turned to the source of annoyance to determine whether there was something obviously wrong with the child; perhaps he was "slow" mentally or autistic and didn't understand his behavior was unacceptable. Unfortunately, upon further observation, I determined the child was simply a hellion who had his mother "buffaloed". Believe me when I say that an ill-behaved child throwing a hissy fit in a store is just as enjoyable in Spanish or French as it is in English. I speak all three and so had the pleasure of listening to him berate his Mami for not buying him los zapatos azuls. By this point I was ready to pick up a shoe, blue or otherwise, and smack him with it. His mother kept mumbling "I'm sorry. I do not understand why he acts this way", eyes averted and face flaming red.  

Oh, how my I.M., my "Inner Mom" wanted to tell her, either in Spanish or in English, that Junior was acting this way because she puts up with it and is embarrassed to correct his behavior in public. I've raised my own sons and several other children, and I reason that if the child can act like the spawn of demons, the public embarrassment has already occurred, and the parent might as well straighten out the child's behavior then and there. I mean, every eye (and ear) in the place is already focused on the situation and hoping for some relief. While I am not a huge fan of corporal punishment, I believe there are times it works and works well. I would have applauded that woman if she had scooped him up and spanked his behind in front of every last person in the store. After all, he had acted out very inappropriately in front of every last person in the store, hadn't he? 

When my youngest son was 8 years old, a social worker from DCF was visiting in my home and the child was being a terror. The case worker turned to me after the fifth or sixth interruption and said "You know, it IS legal to spank your child in Connecticut, so you go right ahead if you want." She certainly burst his bubble, and we didn't hear another peep out of him until she was long gone.

After that happy family left, a woman even more amply-built than I am ran into me with her power scooter, and began discussing the clothing. I learned within five minutes that she was looking for something to wear to a black-and-white-themed wedding, was a size 28, and she felt the bride was lucky to have caught a man. 

Without pausing for breath, she asked me what size clothes I wore. I answered her, and she immediately began pulling garments from the rack, stating that this item or that was just the right color for me, too bad it was three sizes too small. Such a shame. Happily, her daughter came to usher her and the power scooter towards the cash registers and I was able to finish my shopping unassisted. 

By the time I got to my car, I had never been so glad to escape a store in my life! Then I remembered why I prefer to shop online. Yes, it's a bit impersonal and the discounts might not be quite as steep, but it's so QUIET! 

I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize, but I have NEVER once seen any TV programs about missing people or people who were murdered involving ANYBODY unattractive, unlikable, or unintelligent. Why is this?

"She was the straight-A student, the homecoming queen, and captain of the boys' wrestling team at her high school. She had perfect teeth, flawless skin, and not one bad hair day in her 18 years.She always got along with her folks and her 7 younger brothers and sisters. Her favorite activities were attending church, babysitting her siblings for free, hanging out with her 'cool' parents, and Bible study." Neve mind that the entire family had to be given wigs and false teeth and hit with the commercial airbrush makeup nozzle to be fit for public appearance, or the fact that not one of the relatives or friends could be counted on to speak in complete sentences.

They're pretty much all the same. Why don't they address missing persons/murder victims representing over 80% of the populace? Do they find them unworthy of media attention?

"I don't know WHY they killed Ethel. No, she didn't have no friends. She was mean to her dogs, but that don't make her a bad person. Yeah, she was uglier than a mud fence, she flunked out of third grade, and she picked her nose. In church. Where she hardly never bothered to abscond. That whole family fought like cats and dogs but she was a good woman. She only run around on EdBob a few times. It wasn't like he was much to look at, neither."